Abstract

There are many Internet platforms that enable users to communicate with individuals who may be located anywhere in the world. Facebook and Twitter are two examples of social networking sites on the Internet that allow their members to send private or public messages, videos, or photos to people, groups, or organizations instantly and, if desired, anonymously. People no longer need to be face-to-face to visit one another. In addition to being a fantastic tool to facilitate the sharing of ideas, news, and opinions, the Internet is also a tool that can be used to spread gossip, hatred, and insults. This paper will discuss the lack of civility on the Internet that has become a pervasive sickness.

 

Civility on the Internet

  1. What It Means to Be Civil

Since civility on the Internet, or rather the lack of it, is the topic du jour, a definition of the word civility needs to be provided. There are many good definitions. The Institute for Civility in Government website says that civility is claiming and caring for one’s identity, needs and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process (https://www.instituteforcivility.org/who-we-are/what-is-civility). Merriam-Webster (n.d.) says that civility is a polite act or expression. I would add that civility is showing common courtesy toward others and treating them the way you would like them to treat you. In addition to explaining what civility is, perhaps it is helpful to explain what civility is not: behaving with rudeness or malice, showing others disrespect, hostility, or hatred, or communicating in a manner that causes psychological pain, harm, distress, or suffering.

  1. Civility in an Online Setting

Merriam-Webster (n.d.) defines online as being connected to, served by, or available through a system and especially a computer or telecommunications system (such as the Internet). When someone is communicating using a social media networking site such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, WhatsApp, Messenger, WeChat, or Instagram, they are said to be online. Social Media has become an integral part of children’s lives. The Common Sense Media website states that social media is not simply a way of life for kids – it is life itself (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/social-media). But social media is not just for kids. When Pew Research Center began tracking social media adoption in 2005, just 5% of American adults used at least one of these platforms. By 2011 that share had risen to half of all Americans, and today 72% of the public uses some type of social media (https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/social-media). There are more than 2 billion YouTube users (https://www.youtube.com/intl/en-GB/about/press/#:~:text=Global%20Reach,and%20generate%20billions%20of%20views). There are over 2.8 billion monthly active Facebook users (https://www.statista.com/statistics/264810/number-of-monthly-active-facebook-users-worldwide). With so many people communicating online, one would hope that they are being civil to each other (but of course not all of them are). To be civil online means the same thing as being civil face-to-face, but on a much larger scale. Civility online means being respectful of what others write, relying on facts rather than assumptions, being tolerant of cultures other than your own, remembering to write please and thank you, and being kind in written comments. An insult can instantly make millions of people angry and hostile, and it cannot be retracted. Donald Trump regularly made millions of people angry with hateful 280-character tweets. I believe that being incivil online is easier than being civil. It is easy to spew hatred and insults behind an electronic shield, knowing that the writers will never have to face their victims in person. People who create fake social media accounts can be as mean as they want, knowing that no one will even know their identity. The Internet fosters incivility in part because of that anonymity.

  1. Recovering Civility Online

Recovering civility can be difficult, but there are some things that can be done. People need to realize that there is a problem, and care enough to try to solve it. Some people get so involved in arguments, and so obsessed with being right and never backing down, that they may not even realize how bad they are behaving. If you have a desire to restore online civility, then you first need to look inward and make sure that you act civilly yourself in every situation regardless of how badly other people are behaving. If you are always pleasant, polite, and respectful, then other people that you are communicating with may notice, and they may calm down and try to behave like you. If they do not, or if the discussion gets too heated, then leave the discussion and try again another time. Take baby steps. Try to help one person or group at a time. Teach others how to be civil without them even knowing that you are teaching them. If the herd is being obnoxious, do not copy them. Show a little kindness and respect, both for the herd and for those that the herd is attacking. Show your friends or group that you can totally disagree with someone without being insulting and rude. But try not to be silent. No one will know your ideas and opinions, and how kind and respectful you are, if you say nothing. Show everyone how to disagree without making someone feel small. Help to keep conversations moving forward. Do not dig up something unpleasant that was said in the past; try leading the conversations in a new direction. Toss out a few compliments sometimes. If a normally hateful person says something kind, let them know that you noticed. Tell them something like “What a nice thing to say.” If someone discusses something pleasant, try to join in. If they veer off in an ugly direction, say “I’d rather not discuss that.” It is okay to disagree with someone. Just do not be hateful about it.

  1. An Example from My Own Life

I must admit that I am not always civil. Being civil is a constant struggle for me. I no longer use social media at all except for watching an occasional YouTube video, but I can discuss some of my face-to-face encounters and what I would say online about them. One contentious issue that I encounter is the wearing or not wearing of masks because of our current COVID-19 pandemic. Some people are violently opposed to doing what the government dictates and pay no attention to the mask laws. Some people are convinced that wearing masks does not work. Some businesses require customers to wear masks, and some customers become violent and dangerous when they are confronted about it by an employee who is simply doing what the boss told them to do. When some customers in stores or restaurants wear masks and some customers do not, incivil conduct sometimes occurs. If I were discussing these things online, I would say that I choose to wear a mask, and that I would prefer that others do so also, so that their breath and sneezes and spit do not land on me. But when I am in a store or business, I do not confront anyone who is not wearing a mask, even though I secretly think nasty things about them. I would tell people that I act in a civil way about it. By being civil I am avoiding possible fights, injuries, and shouting matches and getting tossed out of the business. I try to stay away from the people without masks, to avoid confrontations and germs. I frequently discuss all the preceding issues with my friends and family. Our discussions have always been civil. My family and friends are usually able to have civil arguments and disagreements about anything. If one family member or friend begins to get out of control, he usually leaves and stays away for a while. By being civil, we often learn new points of view and become more knowledgeable. Sometimes we do not. But in any case, being civil is the common-sense, polite, and respectful way to be. All the issues, feelings, opinions, and observations mentioned in this paragraph can be discussed online in a civil manner. If I were to use social media, which I do not, I am certain that I could and would bring these things up for discussion. If done in a calm peaceful way, perhaps I could convince or enlighten a few non-maskers. I am certain that a civil approach could advance understanding about masks.

  1. Conclusion

The Internet shields people from each other, allowing them to avoid any face-to-face contact. People communicating online sometimes forget that there are real people with feelings on the other ends of the wires, and they say (or type) things that are hurtful. That is incivility. Harsh words typed during an online conversation cannot be taken back. Much like firing a gun, the bullet cannot be retrieved and put back into the gun. You can apologize later, but the hurtful words linger on forever. Everyone simply must learn how to interact with each other civilly. That means disagreeing without hurling insults, arguing without hostility, and respecting people with different cultures, backgrounds, and points of view. One can hate a person’s ideas without hating the person. Be civil even when you disagree. That is my advice.

  

References

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). civility. Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved March 3, 2021, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/civility

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). online. Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved March 3, 2021, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/online

By Communication